So, since the last time I wrote on this blog, a lot has transpired in my life. It actually feels incredibly surreal returning to blogging as I was truly convinced that with everything that has been going on recently, I would not have time, but lo and behold, here I am; telling you all about the new exciting events that have happened in my life.
I should probably start with the most important thing; my sugar daddy Jon and I had a baby. Yes, you read right; I had a baby boy on the 29th of March and his name is Link. You're all probably thinking "why didn't you vlog?!" or "why the hell did you name him Link?!" and I will answer both questions in due course, so hang tight.
Link Ezra weighed 8lbs 7oz and was born at 10:50pm at Kings College Hospital. No, Link wasn't planned (he was actually conceived at Glastonbury last year. Yes, Jon and I are complete trash) and he took us both by surprise, but surprise soon turned to excitement and I wouldn't trade him for the world. After being in labour for 10 hours but in the hospital for 2 days, I didn't care how he came out, I just wanted him out. I will make a video on my labour experience because believe it or not, I loved it and I would do it all again (except for my epidural procedure, but I'll explain why in my video).
WHY DIDN'T YOU VLOG?!
- I did vlog; just not all of it. I was an insanely hormonal mess. I didn't want to leave my house, my skin was awful, I felt horrible about myself and I just didn't want people seeing me like that. I am generally quite a happy chilled out kind of gal and I would like you all to continue to know me as that "crazy bitch from YouTube", not as that "bitch from YouTube"
WHY THE HELL DID YOU NAME HIM Link?!
- Zelda. Duh.
I don't want to talk too much about my pregnancy in this blog post because I plan on making a very lengthy video about my experience. It was not as rosie or as dandy as people make pregnancy seem in the media, but it's relative to everyone I guess. I don't think I ever got that "pregnancy glow" and I had morning sickness pretty much throughout my pregnancy and no, morning sickness doesn't only hit you in the morning, it comes morning, afternoon, evening and night with a mean vengeance. You learn something new everyday. Anyway, I have that video lined up soon, so stay tuned.
So deciding to have a baby and bring a tiny clueless human into this dark and mysterious world means that you've got to make a lot of sacrifices and a lot of growing up in the space of 9 months. I know for sure that it took pregnancy for me to earn a specific power that I will be forever grateful for; the power of patience.
I am probably one of the most impatient people on the planet. I was about ready and done with the whole waiting thing by 8 weeks, but with pregnancy, you literally have no choice but to wait. Just wait.
Want to know what you're having so you can buy clothes, but you're only 8 weeks pregnant? You've got to wait until you're 16 weeks. Your baby probably hasn't even got genitals yet.
Want to know whose nose your baby has?
You've got wait for that too. 3D scans are great but your child looks like a piece of Play-doh swimming in some fluid and you can't really tell much from those scans anyway.
So out of my entire pregnancy experience, patience is one thing that I have acquired and I am so grateful to finally have it because it's something that I am going to need as a parent.
Jon and I are still together. If you followed me on any form of social media, then you would know that Jon is completely obsessed with Link and it warms my heart to see him so in love with someone we both created. I get a bit teary eyed looking at him interacting with Link because I can see the love in his face. It just beams off him and I am truly lucky to have such an amazing man to share this parenting experience will. Here's to 3 more babies, Jon!
I've realised in my short time being a parent that I would do ANYTHING for Link. He is the most important thing in the world to me now, so if that means never having another alcoholic drink, or never going on a night out ever again, then so be it. I am willing to make that sacrifice because being a parent means you have to put your child first and I learnt that very quickly. I sacrificed my body for him. He had complete control over my body for 9 months and I've sacrificed friends for him but every single thing was worth it. Every declined invitation to go out and "be young", every stretch mark I have gained from growing him in my body, all of that.
Pregnancy and parenting makes you grow up very fast and although I didn't think I was ready for a child at 22, once I made the decision to have him, I had to be ready. I would not let my child come into this world for him to struggle. That was not something that I would want for my child, it's not something that anyone would want for their child.
So yeah guys! That's a little update for you! I will be writing a mother and baby blog from today called http://tinytoesandbabygrows.blogger.com so you can catch up with all things motherhood on there, if you're interested!
Thank you all so much for reading, and I will catch up with you all soon!